You can be whoever you want to be

This time a year ago I was 46 pounds heavier. I was angry, I was depressed,  I was downright miserable. I didn’t feel like myself. What am I talking about…I didn’t even know who I was. I was 20 years old, nearly a month away from my 21st birthday and I felt that I had accomplished nothing. I started off at a community college, I graduated and continued with my education at a four-year university. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. I did not know how to write, I could barely articulate my own thoughts.  I was angry at the world and I hated everyone I encountered. I felt unintelligent, unattractive, clueless, desperate, hopeless. My first year of “real” college was not an easy one. I struggled. I struggled A LOT. My GPA was the lowest it has ever been in my life, my weight was the highest it’s ever been. I was trying to discover my purpose in life. Trying to dig for some ounce of hope or happiness but it took a long time for it to come. After a difficult first semester I decided to take control. I worked my behind off Spring semester and earned a 3.02. I went from a 2.2 to a 3.02. I was thrilled! I still wished for higher but I had done it, I conquered my four-year university. When I returned home for summer vacation I decided to take control of my weight as well. By August I had dropped about 25 pounds and as my senior year of college went on, I continued to lose the rest of the weight. I could barely recognize myself. I shed the layer that was holding me back from getting the most out of my life. Since my weight loss I have become a different woman. I dress well, I can articulate my thoughts, I have many wonderful friends, I am confident, I am a good person. I see my self-worth. Finally. I don’t even know who that girl who hated everything was anymore. Education gave me something that I ordinarily could not possess had I not chosen to leave home and experience a different piece of life. I needed the “college experience” to morph me into the person I always knew I could be.

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