Delayed Teenage Rebellion

From what I’ve learned in my 24 years of life is that if you go with the lines of authority you will go far but if you cop attitude and go against the rigid conforms of society, you won’t get very far at all. It’s a daily struggle for me to prevent myself from saying exactly what’s on my mind. I grew up in a family where none of us has a filter. I’ve since been able to control mine a little better than my grandpa and mother, but if I don’t like the way something is going or if I’m resistant to change I speak up.

My track record with this whole rebellion shtick is not cute. I was let go from a crummy job I didn’t enjoy anyhow because I didn’t fit in with the crew I worked with and because apparently I roll my eyes and give attitude. It comes as second nature to me, I really don’t even notice that I do it. I think I’ve gotten better with it though. Then another crummy job I enjoyed sometimes but felt depressed about being in, wore down on me and again I gave attitude like a 16-year-old kid.

I didn’t want to grow up. No one could force me to act a certain way so I behaved however I wanted to. That didn’t really work either. Now in my office job I rebelled against a superior. By accident. I’m sure she’s nice. I don’t really mean it … it just comes out. This attitude. This rebellion against others in society especially when I don’t agree. Sometimes I won’t listen because I don’t agree and I’ll do things my own way. That never really works out in the end.

I think what I’m trying to say here is, don’t rebel kids. When I was a teenager I never drank, smoked or had sex because I thought it was “bad.” Cursing like a sailor was one of my well known traits though (still is, hard habit to break). Now that I’m in my mid-20s and a little lost in life I say fuck it. I’ll do what I want, for now until that attitude bites me in the ass and I have to work another crummy job I hate for the rest of my life.


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