“You is smart. You is kind. You is important,” Miss Aibileen from, “The Help.”
If there is anything I have learned through my experiences its: Don’t settle for someone who lacks the time and patience to get to know the real you.
Recognize the signs. Know when it’s healthy or unhealthy. If a guy doesn’t show respect for you from day one, you cannot change it. Don’t believe you can ever change that. You may believe this person is good and that he deserves a chance but the truth is if it’s rocky in the beginning when you barely know one another it isn’t going to get any better. This is especially true if you already feel in your gut that something about this one is “off.”
If he doesn’t plan dates until last minute. If he doesn’t even show up for those dates. If he doesn’t ask ‘what’s your favorite food?’ or ‘where would you like to eat?’ He’s most likely a guy who will always put his needs before your own. Because in your heart you know this and you dislike being hurt, you put on this tough girl front around him because you don’t trust him. This is how you know he is wrong for you!!
All women must remember that you are important. You matter! What you want MATTERS! When things are negative, walk away. Don’t put up a fight. Don’t argue because he gives you attention when you fight with him. If there’s no positive connection between you and another person let it go. Move on. There’s someone out there for you. They will be able to understand you, to hear your side of the story. They won’t lash out at you and call you “crazy” or “immature” and blame you for everything when they’re not innocent either.
You don’t owe this person your time. You don’t owe him a response or an explanation for your disappearance. You don’t owe him a thing. Don’t tolerate the poor treatment. Letting go of the idea of someone can be scary and even sad. You may have imagined yourself with this person. Holding hands and cuddling with each other, going on adventures. But sometimes those things are only a part of a romantic’s vivid imagination. Cutting off a toxic guy is sometimes exactly what needs to be done.
That release and honesty to yourself feels better than any unhealthy crush can ever feel!!