Wanting a Boy to Like You

salma_hayak

We finally got to The Cape Cod House at 1:30 in the morning. Exhausted, excited and delirious we walked through the wooded front yard to the door.

He greeted us with a beer in hand.

“Hey guys! How was the trip up!? Welcome to the house. Everyone is in the kitchen. Go get a drink!”

That’s T? He’s taller than I thought he would be and kind of cute. That thick Jersey accent … what a dork.  

I scoped the room to see who else I could flirt with this weekend. Two of the guys were taken. There was another guy who wasn’t really my type. A girl sat next to T. She looked like she was into him.

I guess he’s out. That’s disappointing.

We sat around the kitchen for a while. One by one the group got smaller. Four of us moved the party to the living room.

“So how do you feel about her?” one of the guys asked.

“Oh, she likes T?” I already knew this information, but I was suddenly intrigued and wanted to find out how he felt about her. If he had no feelings for her then he was totally fair game.

T sat there with his hand on his chin, “Hmm …uhm ….”

The three of us looked at him anxiously awaiting an answer.

“If you have to think so much about it then I don’t think you really are that into her,” I offered my opinion.

“I’m not … attracted to her,” he finally admitted.

Fair game.

The next night half the group was asleep while the rest of us stayed up getting wasted. When I like a boy who is as innocent as T is, I am reverted back to a 15-year-old girl. I kept pinching him nonstop. I tried to get his attention in other forceful ways like poking, squeezing, and asking invasive questions. He would barely give me any kind of reaction. I think I made him uncomfortable.

We all sat down on the couch and I grilled him. I just wanted to get to know him better. He was pretty inexperienced in all arenas of the dating department. I thought he was so adorable with his straight white teeth, a good head of hair, tall, athletic, nice, a career, super cute. Why would he be single for almost his entire life?

I remembered one of my personality traits is to try and get involved with boys who have some kind of ‘thing’ about them. I tried not doing it. I didn’t see him as anymore than some cute little boy who I liked to flirt with and make really uncomfortable. But the more I got to know him and look at him, the more interested I became.

“I like a girl who’s crazier than me. I don’t want to date someone who’s like me.”

I saw an opening in his response,”Do you think I’m crazy?”

“You’re definitely crazier than me.”

I put my legs in his lap. He would not remove his hands from behind his head the entire time I had my legs on him. Eventually he stood up to leave and I grabbed onto his hand and tried to pull him back. I saw the fear in his eyes. He loosened his grip and ran away and up the stairs.

On Sunday morning after we were up drinking all night long I was so hungover.

“Okay guys, what time do you want to rent bikes? We should leave before 11 a.m. C’mon the daylight is burning away!”

I gave him a death stare.

“What’s wrong with you man. You need to get laid.”

I picked on him a lot. I tried to see if he had any interest in me whatsoever. When I did my hair and makeup and put on a dress I saw his face when he looked at me. He looked like someone who was attracted to me. In the car he asked me how I felt about one of the songs on his radio. I felt like there was something there, he just didn’t want to do anything about it.

After the trip ended, I started texting him. We’ve become friends since the trip. We text all of the time, Snapchat throughout the day, and he told me he liked talking to me because we have real conversation. I even got him to talk on the phone with me once.

Then there was the time on my birthday I held his hand. He was highly uncomfortable and stiff. I asked him how he felt about it. He had no answer. We talked it out and then I had to convince him that it wouldn’t be considered leading me on if he held hands with me.

I was happy living in la-la land when his grip on my hand tightened and he even kissed the top of my hand and said, “I can be romantic for one night.”

He tells me I’m pretty. I tell him he’s handsome. He tells me he has no interest in dating or being in a relationship. I guess I can’t take no for an answer. I straight up told him I had a crush on him and he said, “Thanks!”

Sometimes, no matter how great or how pretty you may think you are, a guy just isn’t into you. I don’t like taking no for an answer until I make a total fool of myself and find out a concrete answer and then it clicks and I move on.

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