Here is Why I Will Never Touch Tinder Again

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The First Time

It was January. We met at a hotel bar for a drink. When I first laid eyes on him I thought he was arrogant. He led the way to our table with his hand pointed in the air. I looked at him and all I could think was, “No, no, no.”

He was strange. The lighting wasn’t the best so I could barely make out his face. He kept pulling these faces that looked like he was majorly disgusted by words/suggestions (see photo). I was so thirsty but I wouldn’t drink because when I arrived at the table, the water was already poured. You never know with people you meet online.

We had good intellectual conversation. I still couldn’t stop thinking of how strange he was. He spoke of his parent’s divorce and his brother’s diagnosed bi-polar disorder, his ex girlfriends diagnosed bi-polar disorder and how she cheated on him. He also shared his seizure disorder with me and let me know he was on medication. At one point I was nervous and tense I just wanted to leave.

I was zoned out, staring in the distance.

“Wake up!” he made no direct eye contact and let out an evil laugh.

“Oh, sorry,” I smiled weakly now feeling more uncomfortable than I did before.

When we left the bar I felt like the pressure cooled. I couldn’t stop thinking of how something was “off,” he didn’t try to touch me at all. I didn’t get a romantic vibe. When we were going our separate ways I started to have fun but was still unsure.

At Penn Station he made a comment like, “I may never see you again,” and did that evil laugh.

I smiled.

Shit, he knows I’m not planning on speaking to him again. I thought.

Becoming (sort of kind of) Friends

I stopped all contact with him after that. Until he added me on Snapchat. When I saw the request I thought to myself …. psycho. I ignored the request for a few months and for some reason, I accepted it. We started snapping and then chatting. I told him to text me. I deleted his number. He still had mine (should have known right there what I was getting myself back into).

He suggested a drink. He wasn’t bad. The first meeting wasn’t baaad per-say. Maybe I’m too harsh. So against my initial gut instinct, I agreed.

In April, 4-months after our first meet, we went out for Thai food. While still strange with those weird faces he makes, it felt more natural. I make weird faces too, people call me “eccentric,” maybe this was “okay.”

He was sort of cute. I felt myself more attracted to him this time around. I wanted him to like me. He was mostly quiet. I felt like he wasn’t interested in me. He would not stop talking about how I “ghosted” him, as the night wore on I began to realize why I had.

He paid. We got up to leave. We talked about career things.

“You should dress more professionally if you want to be taken seriously.”

In my head I thought, Huh???? I chose this outfit today because I wanted to look good when I saw this guy. 

“I went to private school my entire life. We come from different economic backgrounds”

Ohhhhh nooo he did notttttt … I’m from Long Island too. What is this fool tryin’ to say?

He kept yawning and complained of his commute (30 mins). My commute was 60 minutes and I would have stayed.

The next time we met I had to stay at work an extra hour than normal. He got out later than I did. I sucked it up and did it because I thought it may be worth it (don’t ask  why I thought that). We didn’t have a plan until last-minute. We decided to go to a pizza place on my block.

“I didn’t plan on paying for you since this isn’t a date but there’s probably a credit limit so …”

I think my face may have shown it all, “Yeah,” is all I said.

We stood at a table eating pizza for an hour. He yawned. I talked nonstop.

“There’s a 1 train right next to us. It will make it easy for me to go home after this.”

I was a little offended again. I had just gone out of my way for this person just to stand at an outdoor table and eat pizza for one hour and then get home 3 hours later than normal.

We video chatted. We texted. We Snapchatted.

The “Official” Date

He was drinking. We were texting.

“If you like me, then just do something about it. Stop making backhanded comments about me ‘hooking up’ with people and just make a move yourself.”

“Okay, I will. When are you free next week? Would you like to go to dinner?”

“An official date?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

Our date was the same day as his couch delivery. We had no set plan the day before or even the morning before. I guessed he liked to “wing” things. He touched base in the morning. I was looking forward to our evening.

It was 3:30 p.m. We planned to meet at 5 p.m. I didn’t know where. There were no set details.

He called me.

“Hey, the couch delivery isn’t here yet. I still need to make reservations. Would you mind pushing it back to 6?

I’m not going to pretend. I was annoyed.

“Ugh. Why weren’t the reservations made earlier?”

“I was doing homework all day.”

Reservations take a minute to make but okay … he procrastinates. 

At 4:40 he texted me saying the delivery guys were around the corner. They arrived at 5:05. There was no way he would be able to get ready and meet me at 6 p.m. Could I reschedule for tomorrow. I told him yes.

I had already missed my first train. I got home late for absolutely no reason other than because someone had wasted my time.

Finale

hell-noI lost any type of romantic interest I had in this person after all of that. It was too much of a mess. Too complicated for me. You either like me or you don’t. You want to go out or you don’t. It shouldn’t be this messy nor this complicated. This crapola was not worth it at all …. byeeeeee locoooo. Don’t care. Bye, bye now.

Now I’m smart about who I invest in. I just didn’t see this as a good investment. It’s like I read in an issue of Time Out New York, when you think about dating someone it’s either an enthusiastic, “F*** yes!!!” or it’s a “no.”

This one was a f*** no for me. No more time needed to be invested.

Es loco en de la cabeza, ya. Seriously. This is a reason why I will NEVER go on Tinder again. EVER!!!

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