A Review of Dates From Coffee Meets Bagel

CMB

Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB) claims to be all about “quality over quantity” matching you with one bagel at noon each day. If you and your bagel both hit “like” on one another you will be connected for exactly 7 days. If the conversation flows you may end up meeting them IRL (in real life). If the texting is infrequent the line expires and they fade off into the Online Dating Abyss.

CMB wants to create meaningful connections which will hopefully lead to a long-term relationship. This is advertised as an ideal app for women. I will say that all of the men I have met from CMB have led to second and sometimes third dates and most of them were looking for a relationship. That does not mean all of them were right for me or that all of them were sane.

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The Tinder Chronicles – Why Do I Bother?

tinderella1-e1445200982961The people you swipe on Tinder are as random as people you see when you walk through the streets of New York. There are so many profiles to choose from that you really don’t matter to these people. You’re purely disposable. Truly, no one cares. Not only that, if you are an online dater you may already know that online chemistry in no way relates to real life chemistry. It may seem like you have much to talk about via text but in real life it usually doesn’t translate. As you may know there are different levels of attraction aside from just the physical  – voice, mannerisms, dress, smell, touch, little things like that. Here are two real life profiles of men who I have met thanks to Tinder:

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New York City Dreams Come True

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At 7:25 each morning I warm up my car and prep for my trek into New York. From the moment I walk out of my house it will take me exactly 90 minutes to reach the door to my office. I drive to the train station 5 minutes away, park my car and walk up the long stairway to the train platform.

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Why You Shouldn’t Let an Emo Kid Judge Your Life

IMG_20150914_122753It was the end of Summer and my friend invited me to go crabbing with her boyfriend and his friend. As we walked down to the dock she warned me that her boyfriend’s friend was a bit strange. She mentioned not liking his long, greasy hair or the bizarre relationship he had recently gotten out of. She also told me he was once a heavy drug user but he had weaned himself off of the destructive habit.

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Can a Woman Love a Man and Love Herself at the Same Time?

DontNeed

On my third date with Coffee Meets Bagel guy we took an icy walk through snowy slush down to a gorgeous view of the bay. He’d hold me up and make sure I didn’t slip on the ice. He’d compliment and tease me. When we got down to the beach we stood facing each other. I couldn’t look him in the eye. As the wind whipped through my hair, he took my face in his hands and brushed his thumb along my cheek.

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Fear

Last year, I met someone during the last half of my final semester at college. Our first date was exactly a month before I graduated.

I wanted to spend a lot of time with this guy before I had to move back home. But he would only see me once a week. I’d ask him to spend more time with me but he’d always tell me no. One day he told me, “You’re going out with your friends, and I’m going out with mine. I saw you yesterday,” Later, he admitted he didn’t want to get attached to someone who’s moving away.  I know he was talking to other girls besides me. I realize I expected too much from someone who was never technically my boyfriend, and whom I only knew for a few short weeks.

Two months ago, (two weeks after getting out of a short-lived, turbulent, emotionally draining relationship with yet another wrong guy), I met the one I’ve always been hoping to find. Sometimes, everything is so perfect that it must seem sickening to other people. He understands me, cares for me, and supports me when I need him to. We always have fun when we’re together. We mesh. But I see patterns I had in other relationships, repeating in this one.

Relationships are difficult. They take work. When something bothers someone, you stop doing/saying those things that hurt your partner because you care, and because you want to make them happy. It becomes difficult when you make sacrifices and you stand by someone through their tough times, but when you feel a certain way it’s hard for them to understand.

It all comes down to being afraid. I have this fear that no matter who I’m with, no one wants to be invested in me. I can be intense, sensitive, and emotional. When I’m upset about something, it usually tends to be more than skin deep.  I’m more than just one level, i’m intricate, and complicated, like most people are of course. If he’s unable to deal with who I am,  I may be the one who winds up heart broken in the end. And that scares me more than anything.