He gave me hope I wouldn’t be alone forever; Being involved with him made me feel more alone than I felt before.
A voice, a non existent mystery; facial features, a 2D image viewed on a cell phone; height and build, not a way to tell.
Typed font on a little blue lit screen. Two weeks of build up – life, family, careers, Manhattan – day in, day out, for 14 days.
“Are you on the train?”
“How was your day today?”
“How is your night going?”
“Have any fun plans for the weekend?”
Face-to-face with a live human being who moves, speaks, breathes, has a brain that functions – a sly smile here, intense eye contact, lively hand gestures engrossed in conversation.
Two strangers connect to one another with eyes that see, hands that feel and ears that hear.
Thoughts buzz – Did I talk too much? Did I bore him, do we “get” one another?, What does he think of me? Do I smell? Am I annoying? Does he find me as attractive in person as he did when he liked the 2D photo of me?
Have I told him far too many intimate details of my day to day life, nothing left to say and nothing left to guess, no mystery, no interest, no spark, nothing in common, defunct attraction …
The fleshy realness of another human being. An alcohol infused evening, in bed by midnight on a Thursday. The night ends. Silence from the other end.
Time, effort, suspense – a lovely evening puffs into thin air.
When a man likes a woman she knows how he feels. She feels beautiful, confident and appreciates who she is. There is no anxiety. No agitation. He asks to see her again. She accepts and is excited. Things fall into place.
When a man likes a woman it isn’t a guessing game.
She knows how he feels and she feels the same.
And if he doesn’t like her? Well then she cuts her losses, dusts herself off, continues to love who she is on the inside and outside, and keeps looking for the man who goes out of his way to impress her and follows up for a second date. He doesn’t make excuses. He genuinely wants her.
This is not personal.
This is online dating.
Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB) claims to be all about “quality over quantity” matching you with one bagel at noon each day. If you and your bagel both hit “like” on one another you will be connected for exactly 7 days. If the conversation flows you may end up meeting them IRL (in real life). If the texting is infrequent the line expires and they fade off into the Online Dating Abyss.
CMB wants to create meaningful connections which will hopefully lead to a long-term relationship. This is advertised as an ideal app for women. I will say that all of the men I have met from CMB have led to second and sometimes third dates and most of them were looking for a relationship. That does not mean all of them were right for me or that all of them were sane.
All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
We finally got to The Cape Cod House at 1:30 in the morning. Exhausted, excited and delirious we walked through the wooded front yard to the door.
He greeted us with a beer in hand.
“Hey guys! How was the trip up!? Welcome to the house. Everyone is in the kitchen. Go get a drink!”
That’s T? He’s taller than I thought he would be and kind of cute. That thick Jersey accent … what a dork.
I scoped the room to see who else I could flirt with this weekend. Two of the guys were taken. There was another guy who wasn’t really my type. A girl sat next to T. She looked like she was into him.
I guess he’s out. That’s disappointing.