Putting Yourself First

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People tell me I have a knack for writing about dating and relationships. I am always doling out my share of love advice. I am fascinated by the way people interact with one another. Because of that, most of my blog posts are based around dating and relationships. I’ve enjoyed sharing my stories and experiences but after turning another year older on Saturday I have finally learned some important things.

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The Tinder Chronicles – Why Do I Bother?

tinderella1-e1445200982961The people you swipe on Tinder are as random as people you see when you walk through the streets of New York. There are so many profiles to choose from that you really don’t matter to these people. You’re purely disposable. Truly, no one cares. Not only that, if you are an online dater you may already know that online chemistry in no way relates to real life chemistry. It may seem like you have much to talk about via text but in real life it usually doesn’t translate. As you may know there are different levels of attraction aside from just the physical  – voice, mannerisms, dress, smell, touch, little things like that. Here are two real life profiles of men who I have met thanks to Tinder:

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A Halfhearted Cure for Loneliness

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Seven hundred and thirty days with no cuddling and no intimacy. I would hold hands with a man and it would lead to nothing. We would kiss and there would be no “afterwards.” I would go on a date with someone from 2-4 times and then I would stop talking to them. There wasn’t a strong, genuine enough connection with any of the people that I met online that would make me comfortable enough to be intimate with them or even be in a relationship with them.

But the truth is I probably could have dated any of those men. It was my past that was holding me back from being with someone again. After being single for so long, I craved a man to love me. I craved giving my heart to a man. To feel a man’s touch. To be taken care of. And the way I was going about finding a suitable one just wasn’t working out for me.

Two years without meaningful intimacy will do crazy things to a woman. Until I started to think outside of the box.

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Don’t Wait for Someone to Save You

Maybe I have watched too many Disney movies that have made me a romantic with high standards. Maybe I do think too highly of myself and I can clearly see my own inner and outer beauty. I am a special young lady and I wholeheartedly believe that. Is it such a bad thing  to think “too” highly of oneself?

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Another Online Dating Disappointment

Broken birdI drove 30 minutes away to meet him for our first date at a Thai restaurant. As always, I couldn’t find a parking spot. I was making my second loop around when I saw a man with a glistening earring and a button down shirt standing there. I thought nothing else besides, that must be him. I stopped my car, rolled down my window and asked him if he knew where to park. He pulled my car door open. When he realized it was locked, he stuck his hand inside my open window and tried to unlock it himself. He jumped into my car and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I could distinctively hear his heavy breathing. I couldn’t make eye contact.

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Manifest Love Into Your Life With A Silver Box (or pail)

LovePailIn yoga when I’m in plow pose I close my eyes and focus on the space between my eyebrows. While in meditation, I repeat this mantra over and over: I want true love/real love/best friend love/healthy love. I channel all of my energy into opening myself up to love freely. When the time comes to break the pose I let go of my manifestation and continue to breathe and move through my practice.

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