He gave me hope I wouldn’t be alone forever; Being involved with him made me feel more alone than I felt before.
We live in the age of information with conveniences such as e-readers and the Internet. Personally, I get overwhelmed with how much is available to us. For me there is nothing better than the feel of a real book in my hands. I adore books because they contain specific information. When you read a physical book there is no aimlessly wandering around to the next webpage, no staring at bright screens. You can’t text and read a book (you could but if you are I bet you’re not paying much attention). Books have beautiful art on the cover, they take time to be produced. They aren’t so quick, simple and easy like everything else in our world today. Reading requires an effort.
Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB) claims to be all about “quality over quantity” matching you with one bagel at noon each day. If you and your bagel both hit “like” on one another you will be connected for exactly 7 days. If the conversation flows you may end up meeting them IRL (in real life). If the texting is infrequent the line expires and they fade off into the Online Dating Abyss.
CMB wants to create meaningful connections which will hopefully lead to a long-term relationship. This is advertised as an ideal app for women. I will say that all of the men I have met from CMB have led to second and sometimes third dates and most of them were looking for a relationship. That does not mean all of them were right for me or that all of them were sane.
The First Time
It was January. We met at a hotel bar for a drink. When I first laid eyes on him I thought he was arrogant. He led the way to our table with his hand pointed in the air. I looked at him and all I could think was, “No, no, no.”
He was strange. The lighting wasn’t the best so I could barely make out his face. He kept pulling these faces that looked like he was majorly disgusted by words/suggestions (see photo). I was so thirsty but I wouldn’t drink because when I arrived at the table, the water was already poured. You never know with people you meet online.
We finally got to The Cape Cod House at 1:30 in the morning. Exhausted, excited and delirious we walked through the wooded front yard to the door.
He greeted us with a beer in hand.
“Hey guys! How was the trip up!? Welcome to the house. Everyone is in the kitchen. Go get a drink!”
That’s T? He’s taller than I thought he would be and kind of cute. That thick Jersey accent … what a dork.
I scoped the room to see who else I could flirt with this weekend. Two of the guys were taken. There was another guy who wasn’t really my type. A girl sat next to T. She looked like she was into him.
I guess he’s out. That’s disappointing.
People tell me I have a knack for writing about dating and relationships. I am always doling out my share of love advice. I am fascinated by the way people interact with one another. Because of that, most of my blog posts are based around dating and relationships. I’ve enjoyed sharing my stories and experiences but after turning another year older on Saturday I have finally learned some important things.
The people you swipe on Tinder are as random as people you see when you walk through the streets of New York. There are so many profiles to choose from that you really don’t matter to these people. You’re purely disposable. Truly, no one cares. Not only that, if you are an online dater you may already know that online chemistry in no way relates to real life chemistry. It may seem like you have much to talk about via text but in real life it usually doesn’t translate. As you may know there are different levels of attraction aside from just the physical – voice, mannerisms, dress, smell, touch, little things like that. Here are two real life profiles of men who I have met thanks to Tinder: